October 06th, 2020

Canoodling in the time of covid

So, here we are almost 7 months into the Covid 19 Pandemic. and like many we are antsy, bored, horny, and I hate to omit, over it.  Not to diminish the profound loss of life so many of our neighbors have experienced with this post.  As of this writing we are well over the 200,000 count for lives lost and who knows how many neighbors are struggling financially and out of work or working in essential jobs and putting their own health at risk to keep things going.   My heart hurts daily for those losses that are hard to imagine and hard to make sense of.  But, disruption to your life and lifestyle can also take a big toll mentally and emotionally and I think talking about that is okay and needs to be said and heard.  I feel like sometimes we struggle to admit we are having a hard time when so many others are having far more difficulties than ourselves.   So what's a swinger to do in these strange times of isolation we find ourselves in? Many swingers seem to get and stay in the lifestyle not just for the fun, sexy adventures but for the amazing friendships and connections we feel with those who are living their lives openly and joyfully.  Everytime we attempted to even look at SDC or Kasidie, we just got depressed thinking, "What's the point? We aren't going to actually meet them any time soon."  I dare say, this was just one of the stressful triggers of melancholy for both of us and Wade in particular as Wade is a very outgoing, extroverted guy.  We both struggled with the Groundhog Day (the movie, not the holiday) way each day felt.  Wade and I are both lucky and cursed to work from home together during most of this past year.  But prior to March, we had so many outside activities that we rarely got sick of the sight of each other.  We were super busy when the world put up the closed sign and got so many house projects done in the first few weeks of quarantine.  Then the malaise set in.  I would say by a couple months in we were both pretty sick of each other just being around all the time.  We have struggled in quarantine mentally.  There have been so many days where we cannot find the motivation to do much of anything.  When we finally started seeing a small group of friends again it helped but still we struggled to not fall into a state of depression and sadness.  For our mental health, we booked and went on a trip to Desire in September.  It was a wonderful week of really reconnecting with each other.  We took lots of precautions but, we still couldn't avoid Covid.  Let me just pause and say that this was in no way a fault of Desire Resort.  The staff was going above and beyond to create a safe environment for the guests and I never was concerned about the resort.  I think this virus is just really hard to avoid unless you do stay pretty isolated. A few days after returning, we both started to get sick and stayed sick for a bit over a week.  We both had "mild" cases but it was a really shitty week!  Several friends asked "Was it worth it?" I found it hard to find a response that didn't seem callous or cavalier but, for me, yes, it was worth it.  Our mental state and disconnect had reached a not great place and the magic of a Desire vacation brought that connection and love back into focus.  We didn't have any playtime with others at Desire because we just couldn't lose the anxiety of the situation.  In hindsight, the cute couple from North Dakota that we chatted with a good bit, we really wish we had thrown caution to the wind.  So, we are excited to carefully be around people again and are going to work on balancing safety and caution with also the real need to live our lives in a way that fuels our spirits.  We are headed to Naughty in N'awlins again this November in what ever form it is taking.  This year has taught us so many lessons about our relationship and ourselves that in many ways I am grateful for this step back from the busy whirlwind to be introspective.  This year is also an asshat that I doubt I will look back on super fondly but who knows?
~ Vannessa

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